Yes, you read that title right.  As we turn to gossip (I jest), Jessica Biel, long time boyfriend of Justin Timberlake, gets F***ing Engaged.  Biel fans, don’t be alarmed.  She is not engaged to him.  That is the title of the new film she will star in. THR describes the film as:

…a raunchy comedy about a couple who make a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don’t turn into their crusty old parents.

Sounds worth watching to me.  I mean, I sat through Powder Blue largely because she was in it (Eddie Redmayne rules, btw).  If I can do that, I can handle this one I think.  The sexy actress will lead the way by both starring in and producing the independent film from first time screenwriter Julia Brownell. Lest we get excited that a new screenwriter can just jump in and get her script sold (it does happen sometimes), Brownell has written several plays for the stage, several short films, and was an improv actress herself.  Not the “rookie” that some might think.

Biel’s own Iron Ocean Films is the production company, who is also handling the movies The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea and How to Cook Your Daughter.

With this news, Jessica really is doing everything in her power to shed the “good girl” image that she obtained while working on TV’s “7th Heaven.”  I would say that by this point, she has succeeded admirably in that regard.  Your thoughts on this?  Would you like to see Biel in this kind of role?  Holla at us about it.

It was just last week that we received word that District 9 star Sharlto Copley was close to joining director Joe Carnahan’s The A-Team and while that still appears to be the case, Jessica Biel is alongside him in those talks ready to jump on board as well.  Biel would play the the former lover of Bradley Cooper’s character Faceman, an Army general who is pursuing the team.  The cast for this one is already pretty steep, including Cooper, MMA fighter Quenton Rampage Jackson, and Liam Neeson. They are Lt. “Faceman” Peck, B.A. Baracus, and John “Hannibal” Smith respectively.  Adding Copley as “Howling Mad” Murdock and now the possibility of the sexy Biel, well that’s not too bad a crew for Carnahan to work with.

The remake of the 80′s TV show is looking like it could definitely be a hit. I know Biel has played tougher more action-related roles, as in Stealth or Blade: Trinity, but I have never seen her in such a role.  Admittedly, while I think the actress is a looker, I have seen her in very few films.  Three to be exact, but not what you might expect.  I have, coincidentally perhaps, seen her running through my mind quite a bit, so I suppose she is pretty tired by now.  Bad joke, I know.  But half true at least.  What are your thoughts on Biel in this role?  Has anybody seen her in her more action related films?  If so, share por favor.  Source: Heat Vision Blog

It’s time for some of our good friends of the world of film news, rumor and innuendo, to join us this week. Concrete statements and absolute truths and few are far between today, so we thought we’d catch you up on the latest quasi-news for the past week. Some, you’ll undoubtely enjoy more than others, but we’re bringing them here to you in one sloppy mess. Lap it up.

Apparently a script is being written where two vastly different worlds would collide. That of Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand. The story is currently entitled Mother’s Curse and is a road-comedy of sorts. I assume we should think Harold & Kumar-esque. Sounds weird, but that’s the talk as of now. [Hit Fix]

Jessica Biel is rumored to be in talks to star in the upcoming Marvel Comics adapation of Thor, opposite Chris Hemsworth. There are a few possibilities as to which character she would play. One is Thor’s girlfriend (always a stretch), Sif, an Asgardian warrior, or The Enchantress, who assists Thor’s nemisis, Loki. [Nuke The Fridge]

Even though I told you it was rumor day, I hesitate to post such a preposterous story, but supposedly Heath Ledger tried to sabotage The Dark Knight by overacting. Absurd, I know. Don’t hate me. Hate along with me. The story claims to be taken from “Vanity Fair” and allegedly quotes Ledger’s agent. I call BS and so can you. I’m sure it was a matter of miscommunication as the “VF” article doesn’t actually quote the agent, but rather paraphrases him. [Worst Previews]

See Sam Jackson explain why his character, Nick Fury, doesn’t appear in Iron Man 2. Read my explanation of why I’m not in Iron Man 2 – I don’t act. [MTV Splashpage]

Jackie Earle Haley, awesome in anything he does, informed [Bloody Disgusting] that he’s signed on for three A Nightmare on Elm Street films as Freddy Krueger. That’s two more after the one that just finished shooting. Haley, combined with Patrick Wilson, Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelly for Little Children made for an acting powerhouse.

Bill Nighy, awesome in the BBC miniseries “State of Play,” will have a role in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. After seeing the trailer for …and the Half-Blood Prince in IMAX last weekend, I was amazed, but still won’t see it. [The Leaky Cauldron]

The homeboy Leo Spitz, played by Ramon Rodriguez, such a worthless character I didn’t mention him in my review, from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may have a bigger role in film number three. Would you have cared for him more or less if he was played by Jonah Hill as originally offered? [Hero Complex]

Disney’s return to 2-D animation after being resurrected by John Lassetter, The Princess and the Frog, has a few featurettes on the making of the film for your perusal. [Latino Review]

Finally, here’s nine seconds of video for you of Spike Jonze working on VFX for Where the Wild Things Are. Please note after viewing the video that I told you it was only nine seconds long. [Mark Romanke's Posterous]

This isn’t film news, but more like film non-news. What it is, is direct-to-video news, so all you DTV fans can chalk one up for yourselves. The Jessica Biel stripper movie, Powder Blue, won’t be released in theaters at all and is instead headed straight to your homes. Normally, we wouldn’t report on DVD/Blu-ray release dates (at least not yet), but since we posted the essentially dialogue-free trailer for this back in December, we thought we’d at least mention not to expect to see it at your local cineplex, no matter what city you happen to live in.

Blu-ray.com reports Powder Blue‘s DVD/Blu-ray release is slated for June 9th, 2009. After scanning the brain for any memory of a theatrical release murmur and coming up empty, a quick trip to IMDb confirms that the film did indeed find a distributor, but only for the home video market.

Here’s the plot outline from Yahoo! Movies: “A mosaic of people desperately search for redemption, human connection, and restored faith within the underbelly of Los Angeles. On the eve of Christmas, four lives will cross paths by past guilt, chance, coincidence, and divine intervention. And when morning shed’s light, their lives will have been woven together by a miracle where death is the inevitable hope and love is why we choose to live.”

I don’t know exactly which four lives this plot analysis entails, but Patrick Swayze will play the sleazy owner of the strip club where Biel’s character dances. Eddie Redmayne will portray a mortician who falls in love with her. Kris Kristofferson will play the head of a corporate crime organization who tries to convince his former employee (Ray Liotta) not to seek vengeance on his former co-workers. Forrest Whitaker will play a suicidal ex-priest. Lisa Kudrow has a role as well. So, that’s that.

It’s certainly surprising that a film with that kind of a cast would be released direct-to-video, but here we are. I’d imagine the quality of the film has something to do with that. For those hoping to see a naked Jessica Biel, you’ll have to fire up your HDTV in the comfort of your own home. Perhaps it’s just as well.

Hollywood, why? Oh, why?!  (Screaming like Nancy Kerrigan after getting whacked by Harding’s Jeff Gillooley).  Hollywood, you have no taste or respect left, do you?  Word has just come across that the Tomb Raider franchise (yes, the one that positioned Angelina Jolie as a mega-star, pre-kids), is getting a re-charge. The Hollywood Reporter tells us:

The new project, however, is expected to revamp the character and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain.

As an open-writing assignment, the project is still in its nascent stages. An actress who could play the role Angelina Jolie made famous would likely come on after a writer and director are attached.

Your next Tomb Raider?

So, Jolie is gone, and they are going to re-think the origin story?  Outstanding.  In the meantime, can’t they re-think the idea of doing this project in the first place?  To quote a comedic-hero, “it’s fookin’ ridiculous, it’s just fookin’ stupid.” – Anonymous.  If this project does indeed go through, and it’s early, who can you see stepping in for Angelina?  Jessica Biel seems like a possibility.  Megan Fox has the internet going nuts, but it is so close to home with Jolie it seems.  If they were going to go that route, why not just keep it essentially the same series?  Maybe there’s someone even fresher that we aren’t aware of quite yet, the same way Brandon Routh stepped in for Superman, and look at how good that turned out!