Mini Movie Reviews From Recent Amazon Prime Film Viewings

Humpday (2009)

The stars of ‘Humpday’ have nothing on ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ Silly stuff.

Humpday is a film that was seemingly well received, by newcomer Lynn Shelton. She directs and has a small role in the film about two straight men who desire to make a porn art film. Yes, you read that right. These guys, one married and one drifter, decide that to better themselves they should fuck. Makes no sense. Unfortunately, the film collapses as a result. The guys don’t ultimately go through with the deed, I’ll spare you the suspense. Because, really, if you are straight, why in the fuck would you even seriously consider doing such a thing? No clue. The film is probably trying to get you to think about larger themes of openness and sexuality; of what is typical versus what is acceptable; things of that ilk. But you can’t present a premise, which is absurd in the first place, and then not have the characters conquer their deed. Stupid. Additionally, the in your face, low budget style of the film runs its course very soon. Sound crackles and the movie has absolutely no cinematic quality. It’s like watching a bad reality show, with smaller stars. I understand its attempt to try something deeper than what’s conventional, it just isn’t successful in this presentation.

Middle Men (2009)

Through luck, Luke Wilson’s Jack becomes an object of power in ‘Middle Men.’

Middle Men was made for $22mm and earned less than $1mm at the box office. That doesn’t add up to success. Strangely though, the film seemed to garner relatively positive reviews, so I was interested in seeing this for a few years. Unfortunately, quickly after watching, the movie lived down to expectations. The cast is notable in its heft, but the film, which is billed as a comedy, plays much more like a dark drama with voiceover. Loosely based on real people or events, Middle Men stars Luke Wilson as a business fixer who becomes involved in a billing company for porn sites on the Internet. The company shoots to great success and Wilson’s Jack Harris struggles with his relationships all around as a result. From his wife and kids to his business “partners” to the feds to just about anyone else, Jack teeters on getting in over his head throughout. The movie kept my interest, but only as a drama; the comedy aspect was next to non-existent. When Jack’s fate is wrapped up (along with his business partners) after cunning and double crossing, the end was met with a shrug of the shoulders. If this was billed as a drama, I would have enjoyed it more, but I was expecting some laughs and minutes into the movie I knew that they weren’t coming. Oh well, still an interesting enough of a tale to catch on a boring weekend I suppose.

Prometheus (2012)

Fassbender’s David uncovers an ancient hologram in the jumbled sci-fi effort ‘Prometheus.’

Ridley Scott’s quasi-prequel to Alien has incredible production values and amazing visual effects work. There are some gorgeous vistas and set pieces in this film. The movie has a generally solid cast, including Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Michael Fassbender and Noomi Rapace. The film’s plot is even remotely interesting, about a group of scientists out to discover how mankind began – in the year 2089. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is kind of a mess. Fassbender is sterling as an Android named David with a sinister, chilling bent. Rapace is the true star of the film, as the story is really centered around her character. A bit of a surprise given the cast, which includes the heavily made up Guy Pearce as a very old Weyland. Prometheus, the name of the ship, lands on a rock in space and the story becomes jumbled and sophomoric too often. Its fun to see Theron kill someone by lighting him on fire; less so to see an alien birthed during a solo c-section procedure. The story is merely a loose string to attempt (poorly) to connect some beautiful scenery and sets. The film is worth seeing on spectacle and occasional fun, primarily from Fassbender’s David or Theron’s Vickers, but good luck trying to legitimately be moved by any of the events on screen. Too bad, in the end.

Mini Movie Reviews From My Recent Movie Watching

Safe (2012)

Jason Statham’s character plays it anything but safe in Safe, despite this pic.

Jason Statham continues to churn out low budget yet bankable action movies that gross in the high #20’s to low 30’s million on average. Safe, the latest in his oeuvre banked only $17mm domestically and $40mm worldwide. The film might have deserved better as it features Statham in a no-nonsense role as an ex-cop turned middle of the road MMA fighter turned homeless man turned would-be father figure. The Stath’s Luke nears suicide when he sees Mei, a young Chinese math savant with a photographic memory, which keeps Luke from killing himself and propels him to find out more about her predicament. Mei is caught between rival Chinese and Russian gangs, because she knows the combination to a safe, which houses $30 million. The plot is convoluted to the umpteenth power, but the film gets props for having relentless villains that do more killing than quipping. Everyone shoots first and asks questions last, which enhances an otherwise average movie experience. Also, this one is a little slow to get moving, but once it gets there, the foot stays firmly pressed to the metal. A decent action movie.

Pusher II: With Blood On My Hands (2004)

Tonny nabs a baby that is apparently his in Pusher II, the baby is not the “blood on his hands” though.

Pusher II, which was discussed in greater length years ago on The Film Nest, is director Nicolas Winding Refn’s follow up to his ’96 indie sensation. This film finds Tonny released from prison wanting to make himself a better man, but caught instantly getting involved with his disapproving father’s auto ring and a friend’s drug deal gone bad. To top it off, Tonny, ever the doofus, has a kid with the town whore, who loathes him. This film is slightly more mature than Pusher, with Tonny (Mads Mikkelssen) constantly trying to work things through in his mind, even while in a constant state of drug-induced stupor. The film crackles with a bit of humor and fire, even though the pacing is a bit more languid than the first film. When Tonny faces death or an opportunity to resolve himself in his father’s eyes, he chooses unfortunately. He thus, ends up with blood on his hands. Refn’s direction continually pushes intimacy with the characters and situations, which is a trademark of his style. The film leaves the viewer the option of ending the movie in their mind, which is a welcome solution in my mind. This is the best of Refn’s Pusher trilogy, even if it is a different film than the first.

All Things Fall Apart (2011)

50 Cent was denied his rightful Oscar nomination for his portrayal of a baller with cancer.

Former rap superstar turned quasi actor Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson stars as a college running back who succumbs to cancer. The film was notable for the lead’s dramatic weight loss, where he lost upwards of 50 lbs., transforming a typically imposing physique to a much more frail one. He deserves props for that – and for rocking genius dreads otherwise – but the film doesn’t have much else going for it. From the opening frame, you can tell this is a poorly put together film, which is kind of too bad, because it has the pieces to be something more. The execution is just “off.” Supporting players Mario Van Peebles, doing his best Ving Rhames in the superior Baby Boy; Ray Liotta, doing his worst and far too common iteration of a Ray Liotta character; and Lynn Whitfield – no comment, don’t help matters. The script has pieces and there are a few scenes here or there, but the unfortunate whole is simply not captivating. There is an element hard to pinpoint, which would make it all more palatable, but instead All Things Fall Apart feels like a film that fell apart. Its one that seems more suited to an afterschool special, sadly.

Mini Movie Reviews Of Recently Watched Films: The Grey, Snow White & Huntsman and Pusher

The Grey (2012)

Once more into the fray, Neeson readies to dance with wolves.

Liam Neeson, Taken 2 star and the man with all the hype right now, powered The Grey to box office success early this year. It opened at #1 and more than doubled its budget domestically taking in $51 million. Neeson plays Ottway, a man with a troubled past who knows how to kill killer wolves. When Ottway and several others are part of a plane crash in the middle of the snow, they fight for survival against the killer wolves. The characters square off with the wolves, the conditions and themselves. Directed by Joe Carnahan (The A-Team), the film is a surprising success to me, because it has a very indy feel and is more emotional and dramatic than thrilling. The Grey also leaves you with a slightly open ending, which is rare in a Hollywood film, but maybe its less-Tinseltown than I thought it would be since it was distributed by Open Road. It’s a watchable movie, not quite the action-thriller I expected, but there is enough there with Neeson, Dermot Mulroney and the storyline to keep things interesting. When the film cuts to black, you aren’t eager to go back, but there are much worse things you can do with a 100 free minutes and a desire for a decent flick.

Pusher (1996)

Drug dealer Frank shows off his GTA pose in Refn’s ‘Pusher’.

With 2012’s release of a remake of Pusher for American audiences (though the film is set in London), I decided to look back again at director Nicolas Winding Refn’s (Drive) original version. I have seen the film before and was introduced to the trilogy by a past writer for our site, when he talked about Pusher II as a Film-U-Missed. Refn’s original film follows Frank, as a small time drug dealer in Copenhagen, who gets caught up in too deep with debt to guys like Milo and his henchman Radovan. Frank all but kills his best friend Tonny (played by Mads Mikkelsen and believe me, how his Tonny survives as long as he does is a mystery…he’s the ultimate shit-talker), gets arrested by the cops, jips his mom out of money, his sometimes girlfriend and still can’t get out of the debt he owes Milo, due to a bad deal he was offered by a former confidant. The film is interesting from start to finish and offers an intimacy that is palpable. Apparently the actors did real cocaine while filming to add to the realism. Still, the story does have some trip ups, particularly the in and out intensity in the slice of life moments and Frank’s underdeveloped relationship with Vic (his stripper would be girlfriend). Pusher has been hailed over time, but I’ve seen it twice and still can’t say it is an entirely moving piece, akin to Pulp Fiction let’s say. I think something gets lost in the translation and the lower-budget style. Still, Refn had worked his way out of my good graces and then delivered Drive, which hooked me again. Check Pusher out for an example of his earliest work and if you are a fan of gangster or drug films.

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

A sip of a white russian (aka Caucasian) is not enough for Charlize’s evil queen.

Two Snow White movies were released this year. One starred Julia Roberts (Mirror Mirror) and was a Disney film, the other starred Kristen Stewart and was darker. Which did better at the box office? Snow White and the Huntsman and it was no contest. I guess it is not the late 90’s anymore. K-Stew and Chris Hemsworth square off against evil, soul sucking queen Charlize Theron in Huntsman. The film is a visual spectacle, with some of the best effects I have seen in a movie. Additionally, while tonally not up my alley traditionally, the darker matter gave this one an element of watchability for me that wouldn’t otherwise be there. Hemsworth is underrated as an actor; he appears to be more than just muscle (although that is his specialty, still). Theron is strong as the queen, her power trips and beauty work wonders for the film. K-Stew is the weak link, not because she can’t act, though that is debatable, but more so because she pales in comparison to others of note here. A pack of dwarves add some pseudo comic relief, with Ian McShane and Ray Winstone among those that have their faces transported onto midget frames. This one ends a little weird, but is worth it for the effects and Theron’s strong performance. The film made almost $400 million worldwide so naturally, a sequel is in the works.

The Latest Mini Movie Reviews From My Amazon Prime and Redbox Rentals

You can read past posts like this here, as always.

Contraband (2012)

“Rib-eye” failed to receive Wahlberg’s congratulatory text regarding his latest tatt.

Mark Wahlberg is a guy I usually turn out to see. I missed Contraband in theaters but caught it on Blu-ray and came away with the knowledge that it is an above average thriller. Wahlberg plays Chris, a reformed smuggler married to Kate (Kate Beckinsale). When Kate’s little brother gets caught dumping drugs for baddie Tim (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris has to pay off the kid’s debt or pay the price. Needless to say, Chris re-enters the smuggling game, only to see all hell break loose while he is in Panama. Sebastian (Ben Foster), may or may not be the confidant Chris has always thought he was, and his alcoholism plays a role in drama back home in New Orleans while Chris is away. This one takes the usual twists and turns and can be difficult to follow, but the in your face direction and solid acting from a notable cast makes up for it. One downside, there’s not much to do here for Beckinsale, who is under utilized in the damsel in distress role. Additionally, is Ribisi becoming increasingly thrashed in roles or what? Nothing mind-blowing, but certainly a worthy rental for fans of the actors or heist movies.

Haywire (2012)

Gina Carano gives Channing Tatum a beating for making her watch “Magic Mike.”

Steven Soderbergh’s low budget action movie in the minor vain of a Bourne film, pits MMA star Gina Carano in the female lead as an agent who is caught up in a plot to kill her. I stayed away from the film ‘til now, despite my interest in Soderbergh and a stellar supporting cast, including Michael’s Douglas and Fassbender, as well as Ewan McGregor. A bit of a mistake on my end, because I thought that Carano would be so bad as the lead that I wouldn’t be able to deal with it. I was wrong. While she doesn’t blow you away with acting talent, her fighting skills are formidable and she is believable enough in the role as an agent who “doesn’t do dresses.” The direction is typically solid, the music by David Holmes is great and though the plot is not stellar, the film works. It mixes The Limey with Out of Sight in a way (two of Soderbergh’s previous efforts) to decent enough effect. Again, you won’t leave the viewing with your tongue wagging, but it’s quality enough for fans of Soderbergh or action fans who can handle something a bit different, since the action is more artfully done and less in your face. Not bad.

The Hunger Games (2012)

Despite the appearance of a love triangle, this is not from “Twilight.”

“I volunteer as tribute!” The same words that Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss says in the movie, I was saying to myself after being suckered in to watching another teen movie. I’d risk death rather than sit through this again. The reviews suggested that we had a better film than the Twilight’s of the world, and while I don’t have first hand knowledge of that franchise, I certainly hoped for better from the first film of this one. The film, based on the popular book, is essentially a code name for a game show where kids fight to the death and the winner is able to live. This film however, naturally (spoiler alert!) broke the typical rules by having two winners because they were willing to die for each other (supposedly). Josh Hutcherson, pequeno by a dwarfs standards, plays Katniss’ love interest and a love triangle of sorts (sounds like Twilight doesn’t it?) is formed since Katniss was in love with Gale back home (outside of the deadly game). It’s all so clever to set up the trilogy and I was let down yet again by sifting through the waste of the film, which features a The Running Man style game show in a futuristic woodsy (Twilight again!) setting. I’ll pass on the rest of the films from here on out. Shame.

Antichrist (2009)

"The Horror. The Horror." A lighter scene from von Trier's Antichrist.

Lars von Trier’s Antichrist is sure to confound most viewers. Consider myself among them. The film is a horror film sort of mash-up in an avant-garde, art house, independent style. The first few minutes are incredible, with Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg engaged in porno style intercourse. The camera shows it all. They are so caught up in their activities, that their young child decides to bolt out of the window and fall to his death. Shocking and heady stuff. The rest of the film devolves into a moody game of cat and mouse between Dafoe’s doctor and Gainsbourg’s patient adding to their complex relationship. The horror begins to take place from there on out, with elements of Saw series mixed in. It’s a weird vibe that is difficult to recommend. The first five minutes are appointment viewing and may hook you, but the rest of the film will leave you feeling confused and disappointed if you are anything like me. Take that for what its worth.

Headhunters (Hodejegerne) (2011)

Roger Brown. Gettin' down.

Jo Nesbo’s Headhunters is a very strong film. I will get that out of the way up front. The Norwegian pic combines thrilling and dramatic elements to create its own very unique space. It’s a Fatal Attraction meets The Fugitive sort of combination, without me thinking too much about it. Headhunters is about headhunters, who are hiring specialists. Roger Brown is a headhunter who steals art and sells it on the black market to significant effect, fleecing his clients to support his statue-esque wife. A plot is hatched against Brown to infiltrate his company and everyone from his wife to lover to cops to reporters and the list goes on are involved. It’s a who knows what and who can you trust meets chase film. Fun stuff. The violence is in your face and hilarious (some scenes are too great to giveaway) and the tension is gripping. Strong direction, a cool plot and some unique circumstances make this a can’t miss film, assuming you can handle subtitles. Not an issue, this one is well worth your time.

The Game (1997)

Michael Douglas is unrivaled at portraying "power". See Gekko, Gordon and The Game.

The Game is Fincher’s newfound classic, which was recently released on Criterion Blu-ray and DVD. The film is a fun one with Michael Douglas playing a man (Nicolas Van Orton) who has too much money, nobody to share his life with and needs the game to shake up his boring life. Douglas has never really been better than he is here. Sean Penn, strong in a supporting role as Douglas’ brother, gives Nicolas a birthday gift that is the last thing that he would want. But he needs it and the game begins in a wild manner with Nicolas’ life turned upside down. He tries to remind himself that the things that happen (his near drowning, being shot at, left for dead in Mexico, among them) are part of a game but they seem far too elaborate to be really setup. Truth is, they are and I think that’s why the film was not received to great effect upon its initial release. But Fincher’s brand is strong and the performances are epic, making this one gain a popularity now (its been among my favorite films since its release) that is past due. If you haven’t seen it, you must do so and if you have, it’s certainly worth reliving. The Game may not be one you want to play but its sure fun to watch.

Here is the latest batch of mini reviews of The Movies I’ve Recently Seen From My Amazon Prime Video Account

As always, check here for other mini reviews columns tacking several movies of various years in time.

I’m Still Here (2010)

When JP rocks the mic, he rocks the mic right.

This is the second (or third) time I have seen this film in its entirety and it gets better upon repeat viewings. This remains an overlooked gem of a comedy, with Joaquin Phoenix playing an out of his mind Joaquin Phoenix in the mockumentary. Phoenix skewers the media and celebrity with his plan to quit acting and become a rapper. If the premise didn’t give it away, you will watch in awe at the events that transpire. One of the beautiful things about this hilarious film is that it is unrelentless and never gives in to viewers. We want answers but don’t get them. The joke is never up, but it is always on us. Phoenix hip-hop career fails and falls deeper into drugs, depression but so many celebs are in on the fun, yet never give us the satisfaction of knowing. You’ll enjoy the scene where he rails on Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire’s predicament by comparison to his. Or the moment where he orders some hookers on a drug fueled binge. Or his epic fight with a…you get it. If you appreciate this sort of thing, this is high art and epic acting at its finest.

Elizabethtown (2005)

Dunst and Bloom lack romantic fire in Cameron Crowe's off-kilter pic.

Orlando Bloom once had a failed attempt at becoming a mainstream lead, and this was his test to the market. Here, Bloom, opposite Kirsten Dunst, got his rom-com on in a Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire) film. If you can’t hit here, you probably don’t deserve your spot in the lineup. Unfortunately, for Bloom, Dunst carries him in this pic. He shows little comic chops as a man down in the dumps from a failed shoe design that cost Nike-esque company billions of dollars. His Drew meets Dunst’s, Claire in middle America on his way to his father’s funeral. The film lacks a spark amongst the leads, despite Dunst’s best efforts and Crowe’s script fails to recapture the glory of some of his past successes. I think this one also stung his career, because with his struggling follow-up We Bought A Zoo, it’s been more than a decade since he’s had a hit. Hopefully, his career can rebound at some point, but this one is an unfortunate pass, due to a lack of laughs or romance for that matter. Too bad.

The Warriors (1979)

The Warriors bare the burden of their battles with bare chests in vests.

“Can you dig it?” If you are familiar with Shaq’s often used refrain, he is quoting this cult classic. The Warriors, which its been years since I have seen, is a gang/escape film about a gang trying to get back to their Coney Island turf, while dodging rival gangs and the cops. The acting is stale, but the plot surprisingly works and the tension is ratcheted up during several key scenes in Walter Hill’s directorial effort. The Warriors, the titular gang, are wrongfully pinned for a murder they didn’t commit which places them at the mercy of countless rival gangs, including guys with bats in baseball unis, girls that lure them with sex and guys that use roller skates to capture them. The classic sound of clanking bottles, which has reverberated over the years with me – “Warriors, come out to play!” is effectively used in a climactic scene. This is one to just revel in for its genre if you are chilling on a Friday night. Can you dig it? I did.

Three Reviews of Movies I’ve Recently Seen From Amazon Prime Video & More

You can see previous versions of posts like this as well.

Shame (2011)

Michael Fassbender’s Brandon shows little shame and pushes the issue.

Michael Fassbender stars in Shame, a film made with his frequent-collaborator-as-director Steve McQueen. Fassbender plays Brandon, a single playboy with a sex addiction and aversion to commitment. His phobia manifests itself in several ways throughout the film from excessive porn to playing the field to one-night stands to attempts at more with tragic consequences. His sister, Carrie Mulligan’s Sissy, invades his space, which only complicates matters. Sissy is a mess and challenges Brandon’s limits. Shame is insightful, thought-provoking, avant-garde and challenging.  The film likely demands repeat viewings for true enrichment. I enjoyed this one quite a bit and fans of McQueen will likely eat it up as well. It’d be a shame to miss it. There, I said it.

Bullitt (1968)

Steve McQueen’s cop Bullitt roasts ‘em in his iconic ride.

Bullitt is a classic cop film, known for it’s groundbreaking and lengthy car chase scene. The scene is often referenced as an influence in Hollywood and in particular to action directors. That is the reason I saw the film, which stars another Steve McQueen, with his iconic blonde crop. Bullitt, the titular character played by McQueen, has an edge that goes against the grain to other San Francisco cops. This makes him hard to love at work or at home. Still, Bullitt manages to present genre conventions that might have seemed radical in its day. I can’t say that I gleaned much from Bullitt as even the thrilling car chase, while long and innovative, felt a bit underwhelming. That being said, I could definitely feel its influence in modern films, so I don’t want to sell the film short. Check it for the scene if you haven’t and perhaps you can feel more rounded as a result.

Harold and Maude (1971)

Harold and Maude make a connection in the film of the same name.

Another film set in San Francisco, Harold and Maude, which was recently released on Criterion Blu-ray, inspired my viewing through Amazon Prime. The film is about a loner boy (Harold) who is attention starved and privileged and therefore creates elaborate pranks, mostly surrounding death. He will hang himself; cover himself in blood; etc. – much to the chagrin of his mother. Harold meets Maude at a funeral and an unlikely friendship is thus struck, Maude getting Harold to explore himself more and find more joy in life. It’s a coming of age tale, oddly amusing, but nothing overly resonant. The film, which is now received as a cult classic, is worth seeing for Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort’s off-kilter chemistry that undeniably works on screen. See it if a fan of the era or curious as to what the hubbub is about, but temper your expectations accordingly. It’s funny in that peculiar sort of way.

Reviews of Movies I’ve Recently Seen From Amazon Prime Video & More

Goon (2011)

Sean William Scott's Doug Glatt enforces in the comedy "Goon."

Goon stars Sean William Scott as a young buck tough guy who takes out the opposing teams best player in hockey. A goon is known as a fighter and checker, someone who can protect his own team’s skilled players and put fear into the opponent. Goon was not the greatest comedy on Earth, but Liev Schreiber’s Russ Rhea character, an aging goon himself and the man who may be replaced by Scott’s Doug Glatt as the enforcer of the hockey league, does yeoman’s work. Goon also features Jay Baruchel (Glatt’s best bud and writer on the project) and Alison Pill (love interest to Doug) in supporting roles. Nothing worth true interest here, its cliché after cliché’ but for sports fans hanging to with nothing to do, you could do worse, I suppose.

The Good Heart (2009)

Brian Cox's Jacques surveys some pathethic work in "The Good Heart."

The Good Heart is an overlooked little indie starring Paul Dano and Brian Cox. Dano’s wayward drifter, Lucas, is taken under the wing of the possibly dying Jacques (Cox) since he has no family. Jacques teaches Lucas to run his bar, which serves only locals. Lucas’ transformation from homeless man to regular old chap goes well, until a woman enters the bar and thus the duo’s lives. Cox steals the show, primarily in the film’s first half, where his curmudgeon ways seep through every poor of his being as he attempts to teach Lucas’ life’s lessons. This one is worth seeing and has a surprise ending, which changes the mood of the film a bit, but can’t keep it from being recommended. A nice surprise overall.

Everything Must Go (2010)

Will Ferrell's Nick Halsey takes control of his home in "Everything Must Go."

Will Ferrell’s under the radar film, where he plays a man (Nick Halsey) who loses his job and wife in the same day. Nick must learn to survive and does so for a while on his lawn, since he’s been locked out of his house. His promising career and marriage in shambles, not to mention being a reformed alcoholic, Nick learns to cope with the help of his neighbor Samantha (Rebecca Hall) and Kenny (the real-life son of Biggie Smalls, Christopher Jordan Wallace, who played a young BIG in Notorious). Nick’s sponsor, Michael Pena, also plays a role, and one with a twist as well. ‘Go’ is Ferrell at his non-Middle America best (see ‘06’s Stranger Than Fiction), and a role, which he seems to enjoy branching out into every now and again. Decent enough, but not ground moving.

Capping Off Christopher Nolan’s Batman/The Dark Knight Trilogy of Films: A List of Awards

Here is a list up with some thoughts from myself, The Rake and “Countdown to The Dark Knight Rises” author and Batman historian of sorts, Prodigal Son. For brevity’s sake, I’ll refer to the movies as Batman Begins (BB), The Dark Knight (DK), and The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR). TDK and TDKR look too similar so as not to confuse anyone. If no movie is mentioned specifically, just assume I am referencing ‘The Christopher Nolan Batman/Dark Knight Trilogy’ as a whole. Needless to say, there are SPOILERS GALORE here. So, don’t read if you haven’t seen the films. Enjoy!

BIGGEST BANG OPENING

PS: Since BB starts with a flashback of Bruce chasing Rachel and falling into a well, the only opening bangs in the series are in that film’s sequels. I’m going with the airplane hijack/kidnapping from TDKR. I loved it. The vertical plane. The wings snapping off. And the shot of Bane and his man strapped together while the hollow plane falls around them toward earth. Beautiful.

Rake: Yeah, that left a nice impression.

BEST PERFORMANCE

Rake: Christian Bale. He had to carry all three films and did so well. Ledger’s Joker would be a close second, but really he didn’t have that much screen time to work with comparatively. Bruce’s cockiness off-set by his tortured soul really reverberated.

SURPRISE PERFORMANCE

Rake: Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. I didn’t think she was right to play a sexy villain that was once played by Halle Berry, and to me, she’s nowhere near that class from a sex appeal standpoint, but she held up acting-wise and didn’t look too bad in the end. Also provided a few quips that maybe TDKR needed being such a “dark” film.

WORST CASTING

Rake: Katie Holmes as a DA in BB. It’s not so much that she was a bad actress, just that she was way too young to be a tough as nails DA, IMO. In her defense, she was better looking than her replacement in TDK. Which leads us to…

WORST CASTING PART 2

Rake: Replacing Holmes with Maggie Gyllenhaal. Looks-wise she’s not up to Bruce Wayne material. Sorry.

HOTTEST DAME

PS: This is essentially a four-horse race, between Rachel I (Katie Holmes), Rachel II (Maggie Gyllenhaal), Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) and Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard). Despite looking massive while coming in from the rain in TDKR Tate/Cotillard is taking an L to Kyle/Hathaway. As the longest tenured member of my Top 3 (since 2008’s “Get Smart”), Hathaway brought diabolical sexiness to the unmentioned Catwoman in a suit that left a little to be desired, but a ballroom dance scene that comes in second only to former Bat-girl, Nicole Kidman, in “Eyes Wide Shut.”

Rake: Cotillard and her rack, no contest. Honorable mention to a pre-TomKat Holmes in BB, when Batman picks her body up and she’s almost passed out.

BEST PIECE OF BAT-GEAR

PS: The Bat-pod. I like it just fine in DK. I love it in TDKR. The flipping tires, allowing it to make insanely sharp turns or to come to a standstill did it for me. That and it made Anne Hathaway bend over a lot.

MOST JAW-DROPPING MOMENT

PS: In DK, when Batman runs a cable through the frame of the semi-truck Joker’s manning, causing it to snap and flip forward end-over-front was awe-inspiring.

Rake: I like when Batman jumps off the building at night in Japan in DK. That was dope.

MOST DISSAPOINTING THING FROM EACH FILM & TRILOGY

Rake: BB-Liam Neeson being a bad guy

DK-Two Face’s turn of strength (He’s a symbol of hope who once he gets an acid face starts one-punching people without issue.)

TDKR- The end shot when Alfred looks at Catwoman with Wayne and says nothing. Cheesy as fuck. I thought it was a little easy for Wayne to be with Kyle and I would have preferred that Alfred looks up and it cuts to black without seeing the two together. I like to be left wondering, even though we knew Batman was around due to Robin adventure.

BEST SHOT

Rake: I like the silent few seconds of Ledger’s Joker hanging out of the cop car in DK.

BEST BRAWL

PS: The Joker loved the pain of taking a punch, but those “brawls” were so one-sided. It really comes down to Bane breaking Batman or Batman breaking Bane’s facemask. I’m going with the latter, for the fear in witnessing Bane throw some column-bashing destructive flurries toward Batman’s body with cheetah-like speed (if cheetah’s could punch).

BEST NON-BATMAN/NON-VILLIAN CHARACTER

PS: No cliché’s here, I’m gonna go with Alfred. He didn’t supply Bruce with all the tools and he wasn’t fighting crime alongside him, but the old man who answers Bruce’s door was game from the get go and never put himself before Bruce. As close to a father as the adult Bruce would ever know.

BEST VILLIAN

Rake & PS: The Joker (thought it would be someone else?)

WORST VILLIAN

Rake: Scarecrow, who by comparison to the others was a little tame (and not tough).

BEST VILLAIN-CONCOCTED SCHEME

PS: I loved that Scarecrow attempted to enact a very time-honored Batman-villain idea of poisoning Gotham’s water supply, but with the added technological twist of setting off the fear toxin by using a microwave-emitter to vaporize the water inside the bodies of Gotham’s inhabitants. Smart idea. He just couldn’t execute.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

PS: Do I go with Bane as he clutches the strap of his vest like two backpack straps? Do I go classic with the Batman costume? I’m going Joker’s custom-made green and purple suit. Combine that with the tinged green hair, the craggy white makeup and of course the smile-like scars and you have an icon.

Rake: Joker’s make up job was unequivocally extraordinary.

BEST THING ABOUT EACH FILM

Rake: BB, The League of Shadows training sequence and an original origin story.

DK, The acting of all involved. Top-notch main character casting, truly.

TDKR, The supposed conclusion to the story juxtaposed with Robin getting his start.

WORST THING IN TRILOGY

Rake: Steelers Nation appearance with Hines Ward and Roethlisberger showing up.

PS: Yeah, I’d like to think this glorifying celebration allows one nitpick. I hated the fact that Pittsburgh Steelers were in TDKR. It’s not even because I abhor the team (though it doesn’t help), it’s still a quick distraction during a monumental scene. The River City football players didn’t have recognizable faces and it didn’t lessen the impact when the field cratered beneath their feet.

Rake: A little bit of that, but for me, mainly ‘cause I hate the team.

BEST MOVIE

Rake & PS: The Dark Knight

Give it up for originally controversial pick of Christian Bale to play Batman. He owned role.

“LEAST GOOD” MOVIE

PS: BB is the stepchild of the series to me.

Rake: I’m not sure that it’s fair to use that title, but TDKR. I think that the runtime was a little bloated and story could have been tightened up some. A lot of little twists. Still a strong film though. Read my review if you doubt me. I have mixed feelings about the very end. Almost would have preferred no denouement, but I suppose some of it was necessary.

UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT

PS: What’s the one resounding moment from the series that will reverberate for years to come once the series is long gone and it’s been rebooted time and again? I think that’ll be Joker showing up unannounced at a meeting of the mobsters in DK and performing his “pencil trick.” It’s not every day you see the ol’ banging-of-a-thug’s-face-onto-a-free-standing-pencil-embedded-in-a-table-so- it-penetrates-the-brain-through-the-eye-socket routine performed to perfection.

THING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED

PS: I guess I wish Arkham Asylum had more of a role to play in the trilogy. It exists in BB as Dr. Crane runs the facility, but perhaps if it somehow played the role of courtroom in TDKR or some of the escaped convicts came from that direction, it could have allowed some potentially brief glimpses of the most beloved super-villians in existence. It’s a very fanboy-esque desire of me, for which I feel shame, but it could have been subtly cool.

MOST EMOTIONAL SCENE

PS: TDKR really screwed me up, emotionally. Alfred gives the tearful speech to Bruce, pleading for him to stop playing Batman. Batman gets his back broken by Bane. Bruce triumphantly makes the leap to the ledge, being cheered on by the masses. Batman returns to save Gordon from his icy exile and lights a flaming Bat-symbol. Alfred pleads for the forgiveness of Martha and Thomas Wayne’s gravestones for letting Bruce die. And that final scene, when Alfred’s surprise leads to his nod of acknowledgement knowing Bruce is safe and happy and that Batman is no more. I sat in my theater seat and wanted to cry, knowing it was all over. That’s the one that got to me.

Rake: When Bruce escapes from The Pit in TDKR. I was welling up a touch. But you know how I feel about the very last shot…unnecessary.

BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ANY FILM

Rake: The death of Rachel in DK. To me, that is when this set of films separated itself from others. Like when Damon’s chick dies at beginning of Bourne 2 – same thing.

PS: I mentioned it in my countdown piece for DK, and had thought of it as the “Most Diabolical Twist.” Concur.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS

Rake: In the end, I thought the trilogy was about Bale and Batman (as it should be). Scarecrow was a scientist/doctor with gas and a mask. Joker didn’t want to kill Batman, he was entertained by him too much. Bane was just a leader of an army. I thought Bane would be more menacing than he was to be honest. He talked tough and could fight, but what else? The villains, despite their performances, were no match for the man in black. As for Robin…

Special thanks to Director Christopher Nolan for tackling these films. In lesser hands, we all know what could have become of the Dark Knight character. Joel Schumacher anyone!?

Movies From the Last Few Years I Wanted To Like But Didn’t (Or They Fell Short of Expectations) Part 2 of 3

I left one movie off my previous post from 2007, which was my Part One list of Twelve Movies From The Last Few Years That I Wanted To Like But Didn’t.  Remaining are the movies from 2008 and 2009 that made (or didn’t make, if you look at it that way) the cut.

2007

American Gangster

This one hurts some. This movie was built up to be pretty big in the minds of those that love a gangster film. I fit that role.  You have Denzel, Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott directing, a Jay-Z-laden soundtrack, and comparisons to the classic film Scarface, then…ehhh.  The movie was just okay. It wasn’t along the same lines of the Pacino/DePalma classic, it didn’t really move me, nothing about it was very memorable, even though it was a solid film.  It was just another movie and that was disappointing. I still haven’t seen it since. I suppose this is due for a re-look, but at the time, in the theater, I left scratching my head a bit.

"Who do I trust? Me!" Who put this together? Ridley Scott. Who speaks in this? Not Common.

2008

Be Kind, Rewind & Blindness

Be Kind featured Mos Def and Jack Black, an odd and intriguing pairing, mixed with the directing talents of Michel Gondry, and the result was one of the weakest movies of the year.  Mos was almost impossible to watch (in particular, to listen to him), the lo-fi film recreation storyline should have been a lot more fun, and it really amounted to a schlocky, underwhelming piece, that made me further question the talents of those involved, and have highly soured me on Gondry as a director. He has to earn back the good will that he built with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I don’t know that he is up to the task. from what I gather, his Green Hornet effort was a disaster, so that is not promising at all.

Blindness turned out to be the biggest rip-off ending in a film that I have seen in years.  With Fernando Meirelles helming one of my favorite films of the past decade and a high-ranking personal favorite of all-time, in the amazing City of God, this was an opportunity to see him take the next huge step as a director and reap the rewards that fans of City (go Manchester!) wanted for him. Instead, he didn’t take advantage.  The movie kept your attention (though not easily) for the duration and then yanked the rug out from beneath your feet in a horrendous ending.  I don’t know that I will ever forgive him.  BTW, Fernando, call me – because in truth I don’t remember the ending, I just know I absolutely hated it. I won’t put this all on him, since he didn’t write it, and his latest 360 gives me renewed hope that Fernando is still worth watching. We’ll see.

2009

Bronson, Watchmen, The Hangover & Public Enemies

Bronson was a film built up as A Clockwork Orange type of film, but was nothing more than a weird, sordid tale about a guy, told in an odd, and rather uninspiring way.  I was very high for the film before I saw it only to be incredibly let down. It was actually hard to make it through. I know it was based on a true story, but it didn’t redeem it at all for me. I hoped for a lot more. Then, the director – Nick Winding Refn – goes and makes Drive and you wonder even more about why Bronson was lame. Tom Hardy is legit, but this one just missed.

Watchmen was a film that had a great trailer. Normally I wouldn’t have had much interest in a film like this, but it was built up to be perhaps one of the biggest movies ever, and landed with a rather resounding thud.  This wasn’t a horrible work, but if you counter it with a movie like The Dark Knight, which more than matched the hype, it only exaggerated the difference of what this film might have been.  I think Zack Snyder may be able to be an interesting director (Sucker Punch was visually damn cool), but he also might be the next Michael Bay. After this movie, the meter was swinging in the “Bay” direction. Not good.

"If we have sex in this film, people will watch." "Worth a shot." #Fail

I don’t really like comedies that much, so The Hangover might have been up against it to start. Rarely, do they ever live up to my expectations, which are, I don’t know, how do I say this, to….laugh during the movie.  Is that too much to ask?  Absolutely, it is, and this film proved that. I chuckled two to three times during the film.  That does not a good movie make, nor is it worthy of being the biggest comedy of all-time.  This movie exemplifies how different the tastes of mainstream America and mine are.  I envy you, mainstream audiences.  To derive enjoyment from such average work must be nice. I wish I was as easily entertained, but alas, I am not. I’d rather be hung over, than watch The Hangover.  I’ve had hangovers/blackouts (my first script was based on this concept) that needed to be recreated and were more worthwhile that this. It was not believable, nor very fun. Zack Galifianakis earned his way onto my shit list for this one. He’s yet to work his way off of it, despite the remains of his father being drunk in Due Date. I have not seen the sequel to Hangover, nor do I plan on it at this point.

I have to include Public Enemies on the list – much to my dismay – because we did a dedication week to Michael Mann here on The Film Nest, and I (essentially) had breakfast with the man a few months ago. I was hoping for another movie along the lines of his previous actioners such as Heat and Collateral.  Those are two all-timers. This did not match that.  I don’t think that this is a bad movie by any means, it just wasn’t great, and I thought it had the potential to be that.

Casting Johnny Depp (a feminine man in a masculine role) was the starting point of this heading down the wrong path.  The action felt ordinary and you didn’t care enough about the characters to engage in the story.  It was a movie you simply watched but didn’t interact with. For that, it makes the disappointing list.  And Michael, next time we are at breakfast, easy with the staring at me brother, I’m just trying to eat and mind my own business.  Don’t use me for your script inspiration, unless of course, you really, really needed it. On a side note, I have just decided to re-visit this film, since I respect Mann so much, I am giving it another shot. My fingers are crossed.

There is one more part of this list forthcoming, the last segment of movies I wanted to like but didn’t. Stay tuned.