Although I’m sure Mr. Brand has been inside the International House of Pancakes before, that’s just not what this article is about. No, Russell Brand has signed on to play the Easter Bunny in the upcoming film I Hop.

The film is to be directed by Tim Hill (Alvin and the Chipmunks) and will be a blend of live-action and CGI like Hill’s previous film. However, what amuses me most about the project isn’t that Russell Brand is to be the Easter Bunny or that Tim Hill is taking his well-qualified approach, but the plot description itself.

From MTV Movies Blog: ‘I Hop’ is the story of an unemployed layabout who hits the Easter Bunny with his car one evening. The Bunny isn’t squashed like one of his chocolate counterparts might have been, but he does suffer a broken leg which renders him unable to fulfill his holiday duties. Our heroic slacker is thus pressed into action to save Easter.

Yes! It’s beautiful because it’s a blatant (that’s right, I’m using that word again) rip-off of Tim Allen’s The Santa Clause. All that’s happened is they’ve changed holidays represented by a mascot of sorts. So, Hollywood, I have three new pitches for you. I’ll give them away for the very small price of 1% of the profits for each.

Holiday: St. Patrick’s Day
Mascot: Leprechaun
Plot: After a rainy spring day, the sun comes out and a rainbow appears. Josh Morgan, a 22-year-old college student, follows the rainbow and sees a group tussling at what appears to be the rainbow’s end. His instincts kick in and he races toward the altercation. Six people disperse in all directions and what Josh sees is a badly beaten Leprechaun. He takes the Leprechaun back to his apartment to help nurse him back to health. In the meantime, the Leprechaun asks Josh to carry out his Leprechaun-like duties for him, which he does his aplomb.
Title: The Good Leprechaun (Like “the good samaritan,” but also to distance itself from the horror series, Leprechaun)

Holiday: Valentine’s Day
Mascot: An arrow-shooting baby named Cupid
Plot: After a badly placed arrow leading to two horribly mismatched people falling in love, getting married, having kids and suffering a brutal divorce, the couple ask themselves, “How in the world did we get together in the first place?” They come to blame Cupid and hunt him down. When inviting Cupid to witness the wreckage of lives he’s destroyed, Cupid is crestfallen. He encounters a deep depression and manically seeks out someone to take his place. He happens upon 17-year-old Jerry Reinsdorf, a semi-nerdy high school senior, sitting at a bus stop. Cupid urges Jerry to take the love-creation reigns and imbue happiness between people. Jerry’s always been shy and sheltered and never had a girlfriend before. Suddenly struck with the power to make people fall in love, Jerry wants to do the same for himself, but his female targets always look elsewhere before they look at him. Jerry must figure out a way to have someone fall in love with him for who he is and not via magical force. The great thing about the film is that since Cupid is in the image of a baby, it enables the director to use CGI like Little Man and the fake Adam Sandler movie Re-Do from Funny People for Jerry’s Cupid. It adds an extra layer of Princess and the Frog-like drama to it.
Title: Cupid in Love

Holiday: Columbus Day
Mascot: Christopher Columbus
Plot: Funded by Queen Isabella of Spain, Columbus was sent to sail across the Atlantic Ocean in search of new land. He leaves port with three ships, the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. After just a week into his voyage toward America the three ships are stopped by pirates. The pirates overtake the crew, but spare Columbus’ life. They use him for information and navigation. Once in sight of America -  the new world – the pirates lop off Columbus’ head. The lead pirate, Barnacle William, assumes Columbus’ identity. It’s the first case in history of identity theft. The new Columbus takes credit for the discovery of America and claims the riches intended for Columbia upon his return to Spain. No one ever discovers the impostor…until now. Present day Jennie Columbus, a 13-year-old straight-A student, discovers some incompatibilities between history books and goes on a treasure hunt in search of the truth behind the dark secret celebrated by her country every year. She exposes it for the fraud it is, but is it too much for the country to bear? Oh, and extra points if Chris Columbus directs and/or his production company 1492 films on board.
Title: Every Columbus Has Its Day